3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize