forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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