idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
