I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
