Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
