Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize