i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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