I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
