Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
