Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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