where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
