do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
