how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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