It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I could fuck to npr.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
