Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
