you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
