I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I wish there were birth control emojis
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
