First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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