he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
