Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
