Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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