Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
