So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
