No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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