uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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