I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
