we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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