this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
