I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
