You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just had sex on a roof
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
