shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
