It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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