So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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