i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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