And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
