i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
