Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
