the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
