Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
