I cannot find my penis.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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