Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
