She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
