I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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