She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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