Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
