so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
