I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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