From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
