I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
