I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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