Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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