My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
BRING THE BAGELS
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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