i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
