i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
