Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
