If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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