You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
