Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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