i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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