so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
