Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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