thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Less talking, more tequila
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
