I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Randomize
