i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
