There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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