Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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