it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
