operation have a gay friend backfired
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
