just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
