Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
