Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I puked a lego.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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