He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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