the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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