Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
