i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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