thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
