whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
