Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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