TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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