from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
