the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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