I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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