Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
