bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
