i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
