In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize