Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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